


Sherlock, the RPG: The Round with the Hound

by CaffieneKitty



Series: Sherlock the RPG [2]
Category: Role-Playing Games, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role-Playing Game, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Everyone is playing a game, GURPS - Freeform, Gen, Humor, Mark Gatiss is a mean GM too, Non-British multi-voice dialogue with occasional gesture direction, Not RPF really, dice rolls can kill you, excessive use of the word "dude", leeeetle bit of meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-15
Updated: 2012-09-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 09:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffieneKitty/pseuds/CaffieneKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Several scenes from "The Hounds of Baskerville" as part of a tabletop role-playing game held in <s>Steve's</s> Mark's North American basement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlock, the RPG: The Round with the Hound

**Author's Note:**

> _Disclaimer:_ I STILL DISCLAIM ALL THE THINGS.
> 
>  
> 
> _Originally posted on Livejournal September 15, 2012_

_Voices_  
 **Mark:** Steve's Co-GameMaster, running this session  
 **Ben:** Playing Sherlock Holmes  
 **Marty:** Playing Dr. John Watson  
 **Rupert:** Playing DI Lestrade

 

 

_Sherlock at the Hollow with Henry_

Mark: "You're in the Hollow checking things out, when you hear something howling."

Ben: "Where's it coming from? I look around."

Mark: "Roll a vision check."

Ben: "On what? There's nothing to see, this guy's a raving nutbag."

Mark: "Humour me."

Ben: "Fine." *rolls*

Mark: "You see the Hound."

Ben: "What?!"

Marty: "Oooo..."

Mark: "You see it. It's about the size of a couch, red eyes, dripping jaws, skin all patchy and scarred, looks like a zombie. Giant fangs-"

Ben: "But there's no actual hound though! There can't be!"

Mark: "And yet you're still seeing one."

Ben: "Fuuuuuuu-"

Marty: "And that is the sound of Ben blowing his Boggle check."

Mark: "This isn't TOON, Marty. There are no Boggle checks in Gurps."

Ben: "But, but, but...?!"

Marty: "Even so, I think you broke him."

Mark: "Mwahaha. Excellent."

 

 

_Lestrade shows up_

Rupert: "Sorry, just got off work. Can I be there?"

Mark: "You're late, Rupert, you missed the intro."

Rupert: "I can pick it up, I mean seriously, they're hunting a werewolf?"

Mark: *sigh* "No. Maybe."

Rupert: "C'mooooon."

Mark: "They aren't in London, you'd need a reason to be there."

Rupert: "You can say Ben's creepy government overlord brother sent me to check up on him."

Ben: "It would make sense. I did just totally breach security on a super-secret military base using Mycroft's ID. He's gotta be pissed."

Mark: "Fine. You see Rupert's character checking in at the Inn."

Marty: "'Rupert! What are you doing here?'"

Mark: "His character's name's not Rupert."

Marty: "Whatever his character's first name is then."

Rupert: "I don't have a first name. I'm just 'Lestraaahd'."

Marty: "Of course you've got a first name."

Rupert: "'Lestraaaaahd'."

Marty: "Lestrade Lestrade?"

Rupert: "Fine, it's Greg."

Ben: "Greg? Really?"

Rupert: *shrug* "Like you'd have ever asked for it anyway."

Ben: "You have a point."

 

 

 

 

_Mind Palace_

Ben: "Come on! I know there's something weird about the word 'Hound', you said it bugged me."

Mark: "Yep, and you keep failing your IQ checks."

Ben: "I haven't made any IQ checks!"

Mark: "I know, I have, any time you encounter something new that might trigger the memory."

Ben: "Yeah, 'cause you fucked me up on hallucinogens."

Marty: "Like your character hasn't done that to himself."

Ben: "That's just backstory!"

Marty: "Uh hunh. Sure."

Ben: "I've got eidetic memory though, Mark!"

Mark: "Eidetic level one. Not full eidetic. You still need to make the roll and your rolls have been shit."

Ben: "Can I take twenty?"

Mark: "This is Gurps, not D20."

Ben: "Fine then, can I like, meditate or something, improve my roll?"

Mark: "...do you have Meditation?"

Ben: "Not really. I should."

Mark: "Well then-"

Ben: "Come on, Mark! We're stuck! We need a break here, all we have is normal sugar and a glowing rabbit!"

Mark: "Fine. In the interests of wrapping this up before two am, let's say you have a memory room."

Marty: "Ooo."

Ben: "What?"

Mark: "Mnemonics."

Rupert: "Gesundheit."

Marty: "It's a memory trick. You have a room in your mind with things filed as objects in the room."

Ben: "So like the hard drive thing?"

Mark: "Yeah."

Ben: "Awesome. Just a room though? Can it be bigger, like a palace?"

Mark: "It's you. Of course it's a palace."

Ben: "Woo!"

Mark: "You need to take five minutes completely uninterrupted and focussed. If you, that is character you or _player_ you, talks at any point in the next five actual minutes, you start over."

Marty: "Oh, I like that part. Can he use it all the time?"

Ben: "Shut up. 'Everyone clear the room I'm going to my mind palace!'"

Marty: "Pfft! Ha!"

Ben: "Shut up."

Marty: "Hey, I don't mind at all! I get to spend more time flirting with the scientist that makes bunnies glow."

Mark: "Yeaaaaah, not really. She's acting momish toward you."

Marty: "That's just because Ben poisoned me."

Ben: " _Tried_ to poison you, who knows what actually happened, because I made that Chemistry roll by miles and that is the normallest fucking sugar on the planet."

Mark: "Reset your 'Mind Palace' counter, Ben."

Ben: "Fuck!"

Marty: "Anyway, I got poisoned, freaked out and so I look like I need mommed right now. I'll get over it in a minute and turn on the charm full blast."

Mark: "You want to hook up with the geneticist, do it in your own head, this game is PG-13."

Marty: "Even with the naked dominatrix last session?"

Mark: "That- I- Uh. That was Steve's idea."

Marty: "Oh fine, whatever. Steve would let me get lucky with the bunny scientist."

Mark: "Steve's not going to let you get lucky with anyone! How many NPC's do you need to strike out with before you get the memo?"

Marty: "Two things to counter your point though: Naked. Dominatrix."

Mark: "That was- There will be no getting it on with the bunny scientist! Moving on now."

Marty: "Fine, whatever. Spoilsport."

 

 

 

_The Hound in the Hollow_

Rupert: "All right! I shoot it!"

Mark: "Roll."

Rupert: *rolls* "Crap!"

Mark: "You miss. Totally. Dirt sprays up to one side. It's still coming."

Rupert: "But I'm a cop! I should have a way better Guns skill than this!"

Marty: "You're a British cop, dude. They don't use guns unless they're a special armed branch, something like SWAT."

Mark: "Plus you've picked up a character that started out as an NPC, so your point value is still catching up, and most of that is in Legal Enforcement Powers, Contacts and Administrative stuff."

Rupert: "Well, crap!"

Mark: "It'll catch up faster when your schedule is less nuts and you can make it to all the games. 'John', your action."

Marty: "Shoot it."

Mark: "Roll."

Marty: *dice roll* "...eeehhhh. I don't know...."

Mark: "No, that's fine, you've got crazy skill levels. *rolls* You hit it, it goes down."

Rupert: "He's a doctor!"

Mark: "And an army veteran. Before you started dropping in it was a two person party, so Marty doubles as healer and gun-bunny."

Marty: "And babysitter."

Ben: "Shut up! I'm like a freaking mad-scientist wizard crime guy!"

Marty: "Yes, Ben, we know."

Ben: "Respect the brilliance."

 

 

 

_Chase scene finale_

Rupert: "But I should be trying to arrest this guy we're chasing, right? Or am I out of my jurisdiction? "

Mark: "He's hauling ass, you'd have to catch him first."

Rupert: "And then can I arrest him or do I need to bug the local cops and do a crap load of paperwork again like I did to get the gun?"

Ben: "Oh no no no. Paperwork later. When we catch this guy, I'm grilling the shit out of him immediately. Then you can arrest him."

Rupert: "Alright!"

Mark: "I, uh. Really?"

Marty: "Totally. We have to interrogate him. He's gotta be a part of something bigger."

Mark: "Well. Um. He, uh, he's panicking and runs in a completely random direction." *rolls dice* "Oh darn. He runs into the mine field."

Ben: "...he what?"

Marty: "Yeaaaaah, suuuuuuure he does."

Mark: "What? He does. It's dark, he's being chased by lunatics with guns, he's panicking. Wrong turn, _boom._ Scientist bits everywhere. Deal with it."

Ben: "You can't just-"

Mark: "Look, it's past two in the morning, I'm not GM-ing a drawn out interrogation at this hour, and seriously guys-" *Jedi handwave* "This is not the plot seed you are looking for."

Marty: "Really? He seemed-"

Mark: "Oh no, wait til you see what Steve's got in the works. This guy's a dead end. An 'explodified into a chunky red spray' end actually."

Ben: "Fine then."

Rupert: "Oh, great. So we blew up a guy?"

Marty: "Looks like."

Rupert: "Fantastic. What do I need to roll on my Administrative bullshitting skill to not get fired or get any of us arrested?"

Mark: "Heh heh heh. We'll see..."

Rupert: "Craaaap."

 

 


End file.
